The textbook definition of racism, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race" or "racial prejudice or discrimination." Now obviously this definition does not explain an everyday remark which may leave someone with a bad feeling or thought. Usually the said offenders are actually stereotyping, which doesn’t necessarily mean they are racist nor does it mean their intention is to offend, most often they simply don’t know what they’re saying is even offensive.
Some examples of stereotyping include a comment such as “Black people love fried chicken!” or “That guy has a big nose, is he Jewish?” Both have connotations of otherness and racism can surely be inferred.
How to Respond to Everyday Racism:
- Assess the intent. Know that the person may or may not be purposely trying to offend you. Try to figure out if their intention is to offend by judging the situation, context of the comment, the speaker’s background and other factors. It will undoubtedly prove difficult to absolutely determine the intent behind someone’s comment, but it’s best to think about it before responding in any way.
- Determine if it’s worth confronting. After you’ve determined, to the best of your knowledge, the intent of the person behind the comment, you now have to decide whether or not you should respond. If the person is reasonable and you believe it would actually be worth the effort, go ahead and talk to them, preferably one-on-one. Sometimes, however, it’s not worth confronting a perfect stranger or even a close friend because of timing, importance, etc.
- Explain why you are offended. Most importantly, try not to confront the person when you are still upset. Wait until you’ve calmed down a bit and explain to them that you found their comment offensive, and then explain why. Avoid accusing them of racism or prejudice. Simply explain why you’re offended and how their comment might be interpreted.
- Don’t expect them to understand or apologize. This is an important tip to remember. Not everyone has walked in your shoes or been through your experiences, so obviously not everyone will understand or even validate how you are feeling. It’s also foolish to expect an apology from someone. If you decide to confront someone, do it with the aim of simply trying to let him or her know how you feel. No more or no less.
If you are always looking for an offensive comment or racism, you’ll surely find it and consequently be labeled as hypersensitive or excessively “pulling the race card.” So choose your battles wisely.
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